I like this, Larry. My husband every so often jokes about what he wants at his funeral, and I find his humor comforting. He mentions music he might like played (it's usually a funny choice) or a Manhattan cocktail sitting on his coffin. If I am the one left behind, I will definitely be smiling at his wishes between the tears, and likely follow his request. How fitting for the grandson of a mortician.
I hadn't thought much about this. Mostly because I don't care what happens to me after I take my last breath. I won't care then, so I don't care much now. My wife understands this, and I've told her as much. I was surprised just the other day when my daughter told me she thinks an open casket is creepy. Growing up the son of a minister, I had numerous occasions to be at funerals of parishioners. Mostly, they were open-casket experiences. It never bothered me. Of course, I didn't think about the expense at all, at least not as a youngster.
I am appreciative of my father-in-law who purchased a plot for himself and his wife. He even chose a headstone and had it engraved with his name and his wife's. It's sitting there on his gravesite...waiting for the two of them. But, this part of the expense for his after death needs has been paid in full.
The only "stipulation" I have about my own funeral are the things I wouldn't want said. Mostly I'm referring to Christian platitudes that used to bring me peace. These days they seem best left unsaid on account of those to whom they do not bring peace. Alas, this is probably the last place "I" would have any control.
I have considered making a video to say goodbye. Maybe send it to a friend for safe keeping... just in case.
Ha! In some ways, that was my Mom's comment: "I don't care what happens to me after I take my last breath..." She could be funny and serious in the same moment. And I agree with you. If I had any control (which I won't) after I die, I hope the faith-influenced "platitudes" are not spoken. Thanks for your thoughts, Jeff!
Larry, your honesty, vulnerability, and transparency are gifts you choose to share with all of us. And we are better for them. This three-part series on viewing the deceased has opened my eyes (and my heart) and has given me food for thought. My wife and I are fortunate we each know what we want, and what each other wants… but there are always lingering questions, aren’t there? Thanks to your wisdom, we will be talking more openly - and honestly - about not just our wishes, but our thoughts, our beliefs, and our fears.
Perhaps you said it best at the end of this, your last in the three-part series: There is only so much sand left in the hourglass.
I like this, Larry. My husband every so often jokes about what he wants at his funeral, and I find his humor comforting. He mentions music he might like played (it's usually a funny choice) or a Manhattan cocktail sitting on his coffin. If I am the one left behind, I will definitely be smiling at his wishes between the tears, and likely follow his request. How fitting for the grandson of a mortician.
Good for your husband and the comfort it brings you! And thanks for sharing your thoughts, Sue.
I hadn't thought much about this. Mostly because I don't care what happens to me after I take my last breath. I won't care then, so I don't care much now. My wife understands this, and I've told her as much. I was surprised just the other day when my daughter told me she thinks an open casket is creepy. Growing up the son of a minister, I had numerous occasions to be at funerals of parishioners. Mostly, they were open-casket experiences. It never bothered me. Of course, I didn't think about the expense at all, at least not as a youngster.
I am appreciative of my father-in-law who purchased a plot for himself and his wife. He even chose a headstone and had it engraved with his name and his wife's. It's sitting there on his gravesite...waiting for the two of them. But, this part of the expense for his after death needs has been paid in full.
The only "stipulation" I have about my own funeral are the things I wouldn't want said. Mostly I'm referring to Christian platitudes that used to bring me peace. These days they seem best left unsaid on account of those to whom they do not bring peace. Alas, this is probably the last place "I" would have any control.
I have considered making a video to say goodbye. Maybe send it to a friend for safe keeping... just in case.
Ha! In some ways, that was my Mom's comment: "I don't care what happens to me after I take my last breath..." She could be funny and serious in the same moment. And I agree with you. If I had any control (which I won't) after I die, I hope the faith-influenced "platitudes" are not spoken. Thanks for your thoughts, Jeff!
Larry, your honesty, vulnerability, and transparency are gifts you choose to share with all of us. And we are better for them. This three-part series on viewing the deceased has opened my eyes (and my heart) and has given me food for thought. My wife and I are fortunate we each know what we want, and what each other wants… but there are always lingering questions, aren’t there? Thanks to your wisdom, we will be talking more openly - and honestly - about not just our wishes, but our thoughts, our beliefs, and our fears.
Perhaps you said it best at the end of this, your last in the three-part series: There is only so much sand left in the hourglass.
Thank you for sharing your wisdom with all of us.
Such lovely thoughts. Thanks so much, Rusty!