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Geoff Maxey's avatar

As Larry knows, my son drowned in the Consumnes River on Friday, April 24th, 2020, at around 5 pm, but his body was not recovered and identified until about 3 weeks later. After being submerged for at least 12 days, it was almost certainly not fit for viewing. We elected cremation ... but here's the crazy part. At the mortuary, we viewed several cremation caskets. The cheapest was $125 - a cardboard box which looked like it should have an Amazon Smile swooshed along the side. We opted for the 3 tier from the bottom, for $500. Why? Why could neither my wife nor I stand the idea of spending so little ($125 or $250) for cardboard boxes? (The $250 model could be confused with wood at a distance, or by the severely myopic.) We went with actual wood. I still ask myself "why?" and I still don't have a good answer.

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Jeff Scott's avatar

I hadn't thought much about this. Mostly because I don't care what happens to me after I take my last breath. I won't care then, so I don't care much now. My wife understands this, and I've told her as much. I was surprised just the other day when my daughter told me she thinks an open casket is creepy. Growing up the son of a minister, I had numerous occasions to be at funerals of parishioners. Mostly, they were open-casket experiences. It never bothered me. Of course, I didn't think about the expense at all, at least not as a youngster.

I am appreciative of my father-in-law who purchased a plot for himself and his wife. He even chose a headstone and had it engraved with his name and his wife's. It's sitting there on his gravesite...waiting for the two of them. But, this part of the expense for his after death needs has been paid in full.

The only "stipulation" I have about my own funeral are the things I wouldn't want said. Mostly I'm referring to Christian platitudes that used to bring me peace. These days they seem best left unsaid on account of those to whom they do not bring peace. Alas, this is probably the last place "I" would have any control.

I have considered making a video to say goodbye. Maybe send it to a friend for safe keeping... just in case.

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