Oh, Larry, you are so right about this. Mom is now 104 and began showing signs of dementia about 20 years ago. At the end of last May, her hospice nurse and social worker finally convinced me that she needed to be in an adult family home, as her care needs had now surpassed my ability to provide them for her. It broke my heart to come to the realization that she was going to die in a stranger's home rather than mine, but it has turned out to be a good decision for both Mom and me. She is getting excellent care and I can now visit her in the capacity of loving daughter, rather than as an occasionally resentful and chronically stressed caregiver. Although Mom no longer recognizes my husband, nor remembers most of her family, I'm grateful that she still knows me every time I visit, and remembers the love we share.
Wow. Thanks for sharing this Judy. As with you, when my father (who had dementia) entered into a care facility, he no longer recognized anyone. Except Mom. Though I don't think he could recall her name, he did everything she asked, and seemed more "alert" when she was around. I know you had a hard decision with your mother . . . but I am glad it has allowed you to be her daughter again.
Oh, Larry, you are so right about this. Mom is now 104 and began showing signs of dementia about 20 years ago. At the end of last May, her hospice nurse and social worker finally convinced me that she needed to be in an adult family home, as her care needs had now surpassed my ability to provide them for her. It broke my heart to come to the realization that she was going to die in a stranger's home rather than mine, but it has turned out to be a good decision for both Mom and me. She is getting excellent care and I can now visit her in the capacity of loving daughter, rather than as an occasionally resentful and chronically stressed caregiver. Although Mom no longer recognizes my husband, nor remembers most of her family, I'm grateful that she still knows me every time I visit, and remembers the love we share.
Wow. Thanks for sharing this Judy. As with you, when my father (who had dementia) entered into a care facility, he no longer recognized anyone. Except Mom. Though I don't think he could recall her name, he did everything she asked, and seemed more "alert" when she was around. I know you had a hard decision with your mother . . . but I am glad it has allowed you to be her daughter again.
very powerful and beautifully written.
Thank you.