Yes, such an important thing to discuss around the holidays. Grief came in waves for me and the holidays are enough to trigger emotions. However my father's birthday is in early December, just a couple of weeks after mine and between Thanksgiving and Christmas. So I find myself feeling his loss around his birthday as well as on my own. My mother's birthday is in October, a few weeks before my own. Each year I miss her, especially with my novels being published.
Thanks Cherie. Yeah, holidays are BIG triggers. Even when we think we're "prepared" for them, our grief can be sneaky . . . all those smells, tastes, memories can take us to some of the best and worst places.
It’s difficult to find an appropriate word for remembering the date one’s parent or spouse, sibling, etc. died. Many people avoid the word “death”, too, couching the event with “the day of his passing” or “the day I lost my mother”, etc. For me, I wouldn’t mind so much the terminology used, but I would simply appreciate someone remembering my loved one and remembering this date brings back memories (pleasing or difficult) of my dear one. My parents were married in December, Christmas and my mother’s birthday followed in close succession, New Year, and my father’s early January birthday. This month was always a whirlwind of festivities for my family in my childhood, but now I had the memory that my father died 3 weeks before Thanksgiving 1979, and mother died December 6, 2022. There are so many significant dates at this time of year to shed “smile tears” for and, for other memories, those tears are pulled from my eyes with anguished, convulsive cries that leave me weak and breathless. Sir, the fact you called or visited those mourners means more than you know! Just to know someone else cares about those dates of remembrance is special!
I appreciate your words, Larry. The English language around grief (or lack of words!) deters sharing/communicating or supporting each other in carrying the grief forward.
I wasn't aware of the Jewish tradition of 'Yahrzeit that Karen mentions.
Yes, such an important thing to discuss around the holidays. Grief came in waves for me and the holidays are enough to trigger emotions. However my father's birthday is in early December, just a couple of weeks after mine and between Thanksgiving and Christmas. So I find myself feeling his loss around his birthday as well as on my own. My mother's birthday is in October, a few weeks before my own. Each year I miss her, especially with my novels being published.
Thanks Cherie. Yeah, holidays are BIG triggers. Even when we think we're "prepared" for them, our grief can be sneaky . . . all those smells, tastes, memories can take us to some of the best and worst places.
My Jewish sister is remembering our mother’s Yahrzeit this month. I appreciate how the term is specific to this particular occasion.
I too appreciate Jewish traditions like Yahrzeit. Thanks for reading and commenting.
It’s difficult to find an appropriate word for remembering the date one’s parent or spouse, sibling, etc. died. Many people avoid the word “death”, too, couching the event with “the day of his passing” or “the day I lost my mother”, etc. For me, I wouldn’t mind so much the terminology used, but I would simply appreciate someone remembering my loved one and remembering this date brings back memories (pleasing or difficult) of my dear one. My parents were married in December, Christmas and my mother’s birthday followed in close succession, New Year, and my father’s early January birthday. This month was always a whirlwind of festivities for my family in my childhood, but now I had the memory that my father died 3 weeks before Thanksgiving 1979, and mother died December 6, 2022. There are so many significant dates at this time of year to shed “smile tears” for and, for other memories, those tears are pulled from my eyes with anguished, convulsive cries that leave me weak and breathless. Sir, the fact you called or visited those mourners means more than you know! Just to know someone else cares about those dates of remembrance is special!
Sharon... thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts. This looooong holiday season can be so difficult for so many.
I appreciate your words, Larry. The English language around grief (or lack of words!) deters sharing/communicating or supporting each other in carrying the grief forward.
I wasn't aware of the Jewish tradition of 'Yahrzeit that Karen mentions.