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Anyone who works in this specialty understands what you are saying. We've heard and said it a thousand times, "It's no necessarily what was said, it was what they heard." This starts at admission to hospice and carries on throughout death. Grief. Impotence. Loss. I can't think of one person with whom I've worked over the years that has not been lambasted by a family member. Whenever I've been in charge of IDT, InterDisciplinary Team, for those of you who aren't familiar, I insist on each discipline talk about those who have died within the 2 prior weeks. 100% of the time they are complimenting each other and patting themselves on their backs. My most important question at that time is, "What could we have done better". I expect a soul searching honest answer because we don't learn from our successes, we learn from our failures, shortcomings, the woulda-coulda-shoulda's. Thank you, Larry. I am now sitting thinking about all of the anger I felt/feel/expressed about my family members' deaths, and the times I've had families come to me with their feelings whatever they might have been.

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